Sunday, October 5, 2008

Yaoi Con, A Plethora of Penises, and Soap

The above soap was purchased at a little store in Japantown.  I went there for bento boxes, saw the soap, and started laughing hysterically because all that I could think of was this: 
Keep getting topped by your bottom?  Not sure if your chosen target is clueless enough to fall for your seduction?  Try our new soap!  Just drop this in the shower and see who bends over!  Guaranteed to find you an innocent uke, every time. 

Oh dear god, it still makes me laugh like a loon, no matter how silly it is. 

Now, as to what I was doing before Japantown and my newly discovered soap obsession?  Attending Yaoi con for the fist time.  Yaoi con - the land of guitar-playing, half-naked catboys and their stripping friends. I kid you not.  I even have access to internet-friendly proof, as a sweet gal I know managed to get some interesting footage.

Childish and perverted fun abounded, as you can see. And as with all things yaoi, I went on a roadtrip with Jessjess to get there. No zombies this time, more's the pity (Although a zombie penis did come into the picture.  More on that later.).  Singing for almost the entire drive really did a number on our throats.  Since you weren't able to join us in our automotive experience, however, here's a small taste. (it's like you were really there, minus the numb butt cheeks). 

Just elongate this to about 18 hours, add in a few crunchy snacks, and you'll have a pretty good idea of what it was like to be in our gas-conscious rental car.

As for the con itself?  It was interesting.  Costumes galore, including boys in short skirts and tight-clothing who looked much better in them than I ever would.  Sales of japanese manga,all things Naruto, ball-joint dolls, cat ears, and everything yaoi and anime I can think of.  Panels on topics both serious and silly, from the male perspective on yaoi to yaoi mad-libs.  

And the penises.  Note the title: a Plethora of Penises.  That's because at the y-gal meet-up, Forchan thought we should collect a horde of penises  (it finally got whittled down to 900 penises).  She had the crayons and pencils.  And who had the giant roll of paper?  

Yup, you got it. Me and Jessjess.

So what did Jessjess and I do for most of the con?  We went around with our giant roll of paper, collecting penis drawings.  We even had a few of the con guests contributing.  Most of the bishounen running around the con added their art to the endeavor. Artists of all styles and abilities added a penor for the cause.  

The final count is still unknown, as I'm slowly trying to add them up.

Think of a paper that unrolls for probably about 15 yards, filled with penises in all shapes and sizes, and then imagine trying to unroll it in a house with kids, without being seen.  It's a slow -and very, very careful - process.  When it's all counted, I'll be putting up pictures of them all, on-line, because it was probably the most childish endeavor I've ever done, and it was also ridiculously fun.  We met a ton of people, even had a few help us flag down other people to come and sign their phallic signatures, one of which was - I told you there would be more on this - a zombie penis with a bite out of it. 

I can't escape the yaoi/zombie connection.  Looks like I better start stocking up on the twinkies.  And if you don't know why, it's because zombies hate twinkies.  They hate rainbows and unicorn princesses, too.  That's why when the world ends from zombification, it'll be the zombies, the cockroaches, and the frilly little girls who make it.  I think I might be more frightened of the roaming bands of girly-girls than I would of the zombies.  And considering my daughter's love of all thinks pink and lacy, I speak from experience.

Beware the frills.