Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Sweet Potatoes and Yaoi Con 2009

There's nothing all that interesting about a sweet potato. It doesn't have the same perverted clout among yaoi fanboys and girls as, say, corn. Or cucumbers. It's rather lumpy and dusty, like a squashed potato. And it's primary function seems to be a dessert that doesn't taste as good as real desserts, like brownies, cake, and peanut-butter cup ice cream.

That would have summed up my thoughts on sweet potatoes about three months ago. Now, however...sweet potatoes are amazing. They are sweet and rich and eating mashed sweet potatoes gives me a little orgasmic bliss that is almost as good as rereading Fake and squirming happily over the parts that push my 'weeeeeee' button.

Seems rather strange, doesn't it?

Not, however, if you've been living in my skin the past few months. I have found out that I can't eat gluten (wheat, essentially). And the first thought that goes through your head when you find out you can't have wheat - if you're me - is...what about brownies??

A girl needs brownies to live. Brownies, laughter, yaoi...and more brownies. Maybe yaoi would have qualified twice in my previous life, but that was before my brownies were put in jeaopordy. After that, brownies became a number one concern.

Finding out that there are 'gluten free' brownies made my entire year, until I had a butt-load of allergy tests, and found out...I'm allergic to everything that is in gluten free brownies. In fact, right now, I'm reacting to pretty much everything that is in everything. Including sugar. That's right, I'm allergic to sugar.

Remember that last post? About going to hell? Finding out you're allergic to sugar...well, I think I'm there. And I can tell you...hell pretty much sucks.

Although there does still seem to be a metric ton of yaoi here, so it ain't all bad.

After you lose sugar, fruit starts looking a lot better than usual. Until you find out you can't eat most of the fruit either. In fact, I still haven't found any fruit I can have (I have a list of some to try and eat, but it takes a while when you have to wait a few days to eat a new food).

So...it has been about 1 1/2 months since I have had sugar or fruit. I can't remember what sugar tastes like, except in these feverish dreams that tend to involve naked men and frosting. A pretty good way to fantasize about sweets, all things considered.

And that brings me back around to sweet potatoes, because right now? Best. Food. Ever. It's SWEET. After this long without sugar, it is really sweet! I just had breakfast where all I ate was sweet potatoes, and I nearly moaned out loud it was so damned good.

Yes, I would have mocked these things months ago, but I have been brought round to the sweet potato way of life. Even found these organic ones that are rather cute...about a quarter the size of the sweet potatoes I'm used to. Tiny.

And the second this thought popped into my head, my next thought after is...are these small enough to fit in someone's ass? So...obviously, I am still healthy enough for my brain to hold on tightly to all perversions left to it. ^_^

This is a good thing, considering that it's less than a month until YAOI CON 2009. I need to have a proper lascivious mindset built up. The con might not be perfect, but it's one of the few places I can go to meet fellow yaoi fans and those who understand that it doesn't fucking matter what gender you're in love with. It's the love that's important.

Yes, the sex is hot, too, but I'm in it for the love. Stop laughing, I really am! Again, the sex is reeeeally hot, but I don't enjoy it much if the love ain't there.

And this year, just to make me seem like a liar, I'm doing a panel at Yaoi-Con: 'Sex is Always Better with Five'. Yeah, it's on writing sex scenes. It'll be fun, though! Anyone who's heading out to Yaoi con, feel free to stop by and say hello. It's on Saturday, Oct. 31, at 11 a.m, in Panel B (connect 3). Do not ask me what that means. I am just reporting the place as I've been told, LOL.

You'll find out I'm just as much as a spaz as I seem on screen. Just less coherent and with a few more blushes. ^_^

In all seriousness, though, I'm always happy to meet new people. I have terrible memory for names, but that doesn't stop me! And also, I wanted to give my apologies for those waiting for my stories. It's been quite a while since I've been healthy enough to update them on a timely schedule, and all the food issues, while on the path to clear up my health eventually, have not been helping.

Although it is giving me periodic perverted ideas which will likely be in a story someday.

For right now, however, I am doing my best to get it together and get some chapters up, ASAP!

Right after I finish eating some more sweet potatoes.