Saturday, December 26, 2009

The Holidays

I would love to have something deep to say about the holiday season. Something soul inspiring and beautiful and not too sappy.

Sadly, I don't got it. Mostly because I'm too sappy to come up with anything not sappy.

So here's all I'll say: please, take a moment out of your life today and enjoy it. Any moment. A moment where you're taking a shower, eating a piece of fudge, warming your hands under a faucet, reading about two men in love, hugging your husband or wife or child or parent. Just really be there and revel in being alive, in being where and what and who you are, yes?

That's my goal for this year: remembering to enjoy these little moments. Just one moment, every day, even if it's something as small as eating enough food to rid myself of hunger pangs. Or finishing the chapter of a story. Or seeing two people in love, holding hands as they walk in front of me on the sidewalk.

Really, those are the moments I WANT to remember, down the road, I think.

So here's wishing you all some extra joy in your life. Have a great holiday, ya'll.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Sweet Potatoes and Yaoi Con 2009

There's nothing all that interesting about a sweet potato. It doesn't have the same perverted clout among yaoi fanboys and girls as, say, corn. Or cucumbers. It's rather lumpy and dusty, like a squashed potato. And it's primary function seems to be a dessert that doesn't taste as good as real desserts, like brownies, cake, and peanut-butter cup ice cream.

That would have summed up my thoughts on sweet potatoes about three months ago. Now, however...sweet potatoes are amazing. They are sweet and rich and eating mashed sweet potatoes gives me a little orgasmic bliss that is almost as good as rereading Fake and squirming happily over the parts that push my 'weeeeeee' button.

Seems rather strange, doesn't it?

Not, however, if you've been living in my skin the past few months. I have found out that I can't eat gluten (wheat, essentially). And the first thought that goes through your head when you find out you can't have wheat - if you're me - is...what about brownies??

A girl needs brownies to live. Brownies, laughter, yaoi...and more brownies. Maybe yaoi would have qualified twice in my previous life, but that was before my brownies were put in jeaopordy. After that, brownies became a number one concern.

Finding out that there are 'gluten free' brownies made my entire year, until I had a butt-load of allergy tests, and found out...I'm allergic to everything that is in gluten free brownies. In fact, right now, I'm reacting to pretty much everything that is in everything. Including sugar. That's right, I'm allergic to sugar.

Remember that last post? About going to hell? Finding out you're allergic to sugar...well, I think I'm there. And I can tell you...hell pretty much sucks.

Although there does still seem to be a metric ton of yaoi here, so it ain't all bad.

After you lose sugar, fruit starts looking a lot better than usual. Until you find out you can't eat most of the fruit either. In fact, I still haven't found any fruit I can have (I have a list of some to try and eat, but it takes a while when you have to wait a few days to eat a new food). has been about 1 1/2 months since I have had sugar or fruit. I can't remember what sugar tastes like, except in these feverish dreams that tend to involve naked men and frosting. A pretty good way to fantasize about sweets, all things considered.

And that brings me back around to sweet potatoes, because right now? Best. Food. Ever. It's SWEET. After this long without sugar, it is really sweet! I just had breakfast where all I ate was sweet potatoes, and I nearly moaned out loud it was so damned good.

Yes, I would have mocked these things months ago, but I have been brought round to the sweet potato way of life. Even found these organic ones that are rather cute...about a quarter the size of the sweet potatoes I'm used to. Tiny.

And the second this thought popped into my head, my next thought after is...are these small enough to fit in someone's ass? So...obviously, I am still healthy enough for my brain to hold on tightly to all perversions left to it. ^_^

This is a good thing, considering that it's less than a month until YAOI CON 2009. I need to have a proper lascivious mindset built up. The con might not be perfect, but it's one of the few places I can go to meet fellow yaoi fans and those who understand that it doesn't fucking matter what gender you're in love with. It's the love that's important.

Yes, the sex is hot, too, but I'm in it for the love. Stop laughing, I really am! Again, the sex is reeeeally hot, but I don't enjoy it much if the love ain't there.

And this year, just to make me seem like a liar, I'm doing a panel at Yaoi-Con: 'Sex is Always Better with Five'. Yeah, it's on writing sex scenes. It'll be fun, though! Anyone who's heading out to Yaoi con, feel free to stop by and say hello. It's on Saturday, Oct. 31, at 11 a.m, in Panel B (connect 3). Do not ask me what that means. I am just reporting the place as I've been told, LOL.

You'll find out I'm just as much as a spaz as I seem on screen. Just less coherent and with a few more blushes. ^_^

In all seriousness, though, I'm always happy to meet new people. I have terrible memory for names, but that doesn't stop me! And also, I wanted to give my apologies for those waiting for my stories. It's been quite a while since I've been healthy enough to update them on a timely schedule, and all the food issues, while on the path to clear up my health eventually, have not been helping.

Although it is giving me periodic perverted ideas which will likely be in a story someday.

For right now, however, I am doing my best to get it together and get some chapters up, ASAP!

Right after I finish eating some more sweet potatoes.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Going to Hell

So, my friend Jess and I were talking the other day, and it happened.  One of us started talking, the other one started teasing, and before you know it, we thought up one of those topics.

You know the ones I mean.  Those thoughts that you know you shouldn't have, but you simply can't stop, and suddenly you realize: you're going to hell.

So what were we talking about, you might wonder? It could have been something that started with the topic of dogs that talk and rainbow birds, or smoking in parking lots.  I believe slugs and manporn were involved as well, though not, surprisingly, zombies.  And then there was possibly talk of leprechauns and yogurt.

So what did we think up that will send us to hades? I don't believe I'll say.  You know why? Because you'll sit there and think, 'leprechauns and yogurt? What bad thoughts could that spawn?' 

Or porn and slugs? What could that set off in a properly twisted mind?  

You'll think and you'll think, and finally, you'll believe you have it.  You've discovered what evil, devious thoughts were on Jess's and my minds.

And guess what?  

Now you're going to hell.  :-D

See ya there!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Iowa and Y-con

Did you know that Iowa is flat?  I mean, really flat.  Scary flat.  For someone who has been surrounded by mountains no matter where I've lived, it's like an agoraphobic acid trip.  If agoraphobics dropped acid, that is.  And if I actually knew what an acid trip was like, which I don't, because I was the biggest goody two-shoes you ever saw in my youth.

Not only didn't I inhale, I never even saw a joint.

Don't worry, though, I'm making up for it in gay porn.  Kind of a 'conservation of sin' sort of deal.  And I'm happy to say that my children are carrying the 'sinful' gay torch to scary-flatter than roadkill-Iowa.

Because as we're visiting my husband's fuckton of Iowa relatives, what are my children doing?  They are holding court among the conservative, catholic cousins, and telling them all about violence to gay teens, and how awful it is, and how downright moronic it is to hate someone just because they 'fell in love' with someone of the same sex. 

I love my little pre-teen activists, ha.  Although I don't think we're gonna be invited to any family reunions any time soon!

Good thing, too.  If I had to travel too much, it might eat up my 'going to yaoi con' fund! I can't believe it's that time again already, when my little mind is occupied with dreams of yaoi. And penises...although those dreams tend to come more often than I should probably admit to in a court of law.

I will, of course, share the goodness with all those who aren't able to attend and are wondering what in the world I see in the darn thing (Here's a hint: Many beautiful men, and not enough clothing to go around.).  And if all goes well, I will finally put up the picture of penises before the con. 

Yes, you heard me.  The pictures of the penis paper from LAST con aren't up yet.  Just remember, this is me, here.  A computer, a digital camera, and me, Computer's Bane.

It's taken me this long to have every piece of equipment working, and then working together. But now all I need is some time to take the pictures, and it's penises, penises, as far as the eye can see. Seriously.  The paper roll is probably longer than my house. It's gonna take forever to capture all of this on digital stuff.

But it'll be worth it.